Would you have spoken or interacted differently if you knew that was the last time you were ever seeing or speaking to them?
“Love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.”
Isn't that true?
This is the 2nd of February 2020, It's midnight, I've been trying to finish this for the last couple of months. Every time I come across this thought, my heart would fill with sorrows and I'd usually stop there. It's how our mind is hardwired to behave, avoid pain and seek happiness around. We look for a happy ending every time as If life is a cinema.
What is this question? What is it about? Well, Have you ever lost someone or had to let them! You'd connect better If 'been through any of this. So, in this particular case, I had to let'em go. Sorry, I had to let this amazing person go, someone I loved unconditionally. I lived every moment to the fullest, as If each one of it was the last one. And I never knew or realized that there would actually be the last moment. Now that everything is passed, been months and I'm ready to share.
We love unconditionally, right or wrong doesn't matter. We spend time building memories. We want to look into each other's thoughts, go out and enjoy the view. Late-night silly talks or talking about wisdom. We share thoughts, Time, of which a second can never come back. It's priceless.
It all started with some kind of expectation. Expecting to be loved unconditionally as you loved them. Expectations hurt, we all know that now! When things got ugly, the relationship got poisonous. We tried to save it, I tried to fight for it, negotiated if any possible way that it could be saved. But the day came when my soul & heart was shattered into pieces. I decided to walk away with whatever pieces I was left with. I decided to quit fighting for it, the hour of separation came, I was thinking about all of these things, holding all of it in my heart. I knew that all of it, moments, memories and everything I talked about above, is going to be meaningless, leaving experience with scars that may never get off of my heart.
There was this time, only a while ago, I would try to go back, Then I thought about what I went through, that suffering & pain. I was 'never give up' kinda person before! But now I believe that there is time for everything, I learned to stop, It's better to stop sometime, better to stop chasing a wrong person.
It's better to chase your dreams, your career, I'm sure you'd find your 'meant to be or the one' on this path. Look forward.
I will wrap up this with few lines of Sri Hariwansh Rai Bachchan:
जब नाव जल में छोड़ दी
तूफ़ान में ही मोड़ दी
दे दी चुनौती सिंधु को
फिर धार क्या मझधार क्या
Have a great time ahead. Peace.