I love my best friend. I proposed her. She rejected my proposal. But she wants me as her friend?

Let’s bring you back to REALITY.

You, my friend, are FRIEND ZONED by this girl. Friendzone has no escape. Even if you try to, she will put you back there. You will try to win her heart, care for her, do everything and anything for her, be her shoulder to cry upon, be her support during difficult times. But, you can never escape the friend zone. This will be hard for you to hear. But, since it is the truth, you should know this. You will always be a good guy friend who can never be her boyfriend.

‘But She wants me as her friend.’ This has now become a common courtesy statement. Propose any girl who is ready to reject you and you will get a denial and this complementary sentence: ‘I think we should be best friends’.

Now, ‘being friends’ is something that depends upon you. If you are willingly trying to be her ‘just best friend’ (I know you won’t be able to do that) then you are good to go. No problem. However, after being ‘just friend’, imagine this scenario:

She now has a boyfriend (not you). You are still her best friend. Now you three (you, this girl and her bf) hangout together. You go to watch a cinema. You three are sitting together. She holds her bf’s hand. You are sitting beside her. After some time she and her bf are kissing passionately and you are sitting there. Would you be able to digest this? Ask yourself this.

Now consider a scenario where she and her bf are having a quarrel over something. At night she calls you and tells you everything that happened. You are damn sure it was his fault. Trying to calm down the fight, you call her bf and try to make him understand. Before listening anything, her bf says, ‘Stay out of it m***********r. It's our dispute. We will solve it. You don’t interfere.’ In this case, you are in a dilemma. You cannot abuse him as he is your Crush’s bf and you don’t want to spoil your reputation. Also, if you abuse, the girl will hear about it from her bf after the dispute is over and may also say ‘I just told you because you are my best friend. I didn’t mean that you should interfere.’ Ultimately, you are at loss from both ends. You are losing your self-respect, self-worth trying to stop a dispute not even remotely connected to you.

Even If she doesn't have a boyfriend, It may not work. We all try to defy some common odds that we can stay friends, but it's a hell lot to take in. We could feel the pain we'll have to bear in the future because of staying friends, could you see her with someone else? Does staying friends worth that much pain? Is she trying her best? No, things will be one-sided causing imbalanced toxic relationships.

Returning to your question ‘Will she love me in the future.’ The basic thing here which you should remember is that expectations hurt. This is real life. It is tough. It isn’t some fairy tale or some Bollywood movie with a sentence ‘Agar tumhara pyaar saccha hoga to tumhe jarur milega.’ So, I would suggest, instead of waiting for her ‘yes’ for another 5 years and wasting your time trying to win a lost war, why not go after someone else?

So my friends, staying away is the best option. No attachments, no problems, no difficulties. If you are still interested in being her best friend, be ready to digest some heavy truths, some embarrassments, and insults. 'WE ARE WHAT WE CHOOSE.'

It depends on you now. Good luck!

[Update 08-2022 -After 3 years - Read part 02 here or go to the blogs page.]